


For You

by Ziammayneluv18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Closeted Gay, Explicit Sexual Content, First Gay Kiss, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Forced Closeting, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Love, M/M, Modest Management - Freeform, Romance, Semi-Public Sex, struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziammayneluv18/pseuds/Ziammayneluv18
Summary: The untold story of two gay lovers forced to hide who they really are and forced to hide their love from the world.The one where Zayn and Liam are in the band and fall in love (may actually be a true love story (; )





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> After much debate I decided to put this story on here and not Wattpad because it is more meaningful and also because I have too many stories. This being my second story on here I hope it is a success and you all enjoy it. Much Love ~Hannah P.S HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

**Prologue: December 31, 2017 Los Angeles**

"3,2,1 Happy New Year!" The younger tall brunette leaned down smashing his lips onto the older boy kissing him passionately as the faint music of Auld Lang Syne played in the background. Their new year’s kiss reminding them as their first one they shared many years back in 2012.The little butterflies fluttered inside their stomachs like crazy.

Pulling back the smaller boy couldn’t help but let out a sigh “Gigi sent a whole story out being-“

His gorgeous husband hushed him cutting him off in an instant “Baby, this is our year. Who gives a fuck about what she does.” He took his small hands in his and looked deep in his eyes “We know our real fans, those who stayed with us throughout all those stunts. If we lose fans over what little Miss priss posts then they weren’t really our fans. You get that, babe?”

Zayn licked his lips letting out a longer sigh before agreeing “You’re right. It’s just-“

Liam cut him off once more staying happy yet calm in their discussion “Zayn we have been married for almost 4 years, we have a son and just adopted another. We have been hiding so long but look at us. We are okay. This is our year that we will be free and be able to come out. Those who supported us since before we even fell in love will now be happy. They will continue to support us. Don’t give up now after how far we have come. Please don’t, babe. I haven’t failed you now you don’t fail me, yeah?”

The raven haired boy fell silent. There was no argument to be argued. Liam was right, he always was. That was the one thing Zayn grew to hate and love about Liam. The “Man of Wisdom” Zayn usually referred to him as. So brave and strong always going through major risks just to get out the truth. Zayn once was like that. Back when he had pinned after Liam. Though shy he always would find a way to get his feeling towards Liam out there. Liam was Zayn, once they had gotten together Liam feared getting caught and punished for their developing relationship which Zayn showed off. Zayn would go through extreme lengths just to fight off their management. He’d yell, scream, rebel, and sometimes even hurt himself just to be able to be open about Liam. However, the management grew tired of it and so they did what they had to, to keep him under control. They had to kick him out and sign him onto another contract with some attention whore model.

The good thing was that after a year he was able to write the songs he wanted. The songs that told his story that he was forced to hold in so long. His story of his love Liam Payne and the struggles they endured and were still currently enduring. He also covered how he felt before he had told Liam about his feeling for him. The pain it was to have such feelings for someone but not get to tell them because of their status. The second he set eyes on Liam in 2008 he never felt the same. He had fallen deeply in love with him. Liam was so oblivious back then mistaking Zayn’s actions as brotherly actions until Louis opened his mouth and Zayn was forced to be straight up. Good ole days….Zayn actually hadn’t regretted Louis telling Liam. Like Liam said, they had everything now except for freedom but that soon would be in their favor.

After Zayn was forced out of the band and cut from the Zerrie stunt Liam took over. Zayn’s voice was taken, all he had to prove his love for Liam was taken from him and soon he was restricted from even speaking at all. His songs was the only way he could talk about it. Liam on the other hand only had to suffer one year with his new stunt girl Cheryl till he could open his mouth and expose. The whole baby stunt started calm and quite yet as time went on and Liam’s team was switched out Liam became louder about his own son Taylor which Zayn and Liam had adopted not long after Zayn was kicked out. He did this on purpose, talking as if the baby was older which it was but not the baby he was supposed to be talking about. The mentions of his “lovely” older girlfriend became less frequent since his team made a deal with him where he’d mention her then mention Zayn as much as he wanted but Liam went beyond that. He never shut up about Zayn and well by the end of 2017 all Liam would talk about was Zayn. The fans who believed the lies they were told began blaming Liam for wanting attention and using Zayn’s name for promo but little did they know.

Meanwhile with Zayn again, still stuck with the new team he had since he was kicked out of One Direction he was forced to remain quiet. Yes part of the reason he was so shady was because of his anxiety but also his team. They changed the password to his main account frequently and only allowed him on during stunts to post stunt pics for promo. The funny thing was, he’d just screenshot all pictures Gigi his beard posted in order and then reposted them in the same order as her but never once did he tag, caption, or even add an emoji on the pics. He just didn’t care, at all. His team was always upset for his lousy actions. That wasn’t even half as bad as what he did later on when the ending of the stunt came near. He refused to go out on dates with Gigi so his team would ask his family and sometimes when his family didn’t even want to play into the stunts the team was forced to use their unprofessional photo editors. Liam once told Zayn even their 3 year old adopted son could do better than them. It was quite a fail and Zayn just found it all hilarious.

Zayn hated Gigi with a passion along with Liam. She was far more selfish than Perrie. Her whole attitude was just all about her. Instead of giving the promo Zayn needed she just took it right from him. When he wouldn’t show up for their second Met Gala stunt she threw the biggest temper tantrum. One day when Liam visited Zayn on his promo tour which he later was seen with hickeys from you know who…Liam visited the little witch after she commented badly about Zayn’s anxiety issues and told her off. He despised her because she made his husband feel miserable. He couldn’t do much to help Zayn ignore her in those times because they both were on promo tours etc. On the days they had off Liam treated Zayn as good as he could. He tried his hardest to make him feel like a prince but the stunts took a toll on him and he grew weak. As Zayn once was strong he slowly became very weak while Liam who originally was the weak one became the strong one. Real funny how their roles switched.

Now as the New Year came in and new contracts were being signed and old contracts were put to an end, the two were now inching closer to being free. They extended Zayn’s contract for a bit just so they could come up with a breakup plan between him and Gigi after her mother’s book release which forced Liam’s album release date to be pushed back from Zayn’s birthday. Liam wanted to dedicate his album to Zayn and their fans to symbolize their freedom and love but unfortunately for reasons I had just stated he was forced to push it back. So since the creators of Fifty Shades Darker series caught up on the two Liam was asked to do a song for the soundtrack like his husband and in honor of them being free Liam accepted and wrote a rather deep tune for his lover. Their new anthem called “For You” which the creators of the movie decided for management so they couldn’t get in the way to release the song on a trailer for the third movie “Fifty Shades Freed” on the day of Zayn’s birthday taking place as the album. It was all put together low key but their true fans picked up on it. Liam and Zayn were very good at coordinating such things to put out hints. Liam wanted them coming out that year to be very special. He wanted the whole world to see and he wanted to show true love can survive such depths.

They survived 2017 their last year of hell. 2018 was officially their year, their year to come out, their year to show their little family they were raising together behind the scenes all that time. THEIR YEAR!!! Zayn couldn’t give up now. Not when they were so close and all the effort they had put in. All his work putting into Liam as a young loved up teen. Not now, not ever. Zayn could not give up. Like Liam said to him, though he had almost given up on Zayn back when the stunts started but didn’t… _” I haven’t failed you now you don’t fail me.”_ Hearing those words Zayn knew he just couldn’t. He loved Liam so much he just couldn’t turn his back on him.

Flickering his long eyelashes back up to his loving husband Zayn’s smile returned “I will never fail you, Liam.” He leaned up to kiss Liam tenderly. “I love you.”

Liam’s own smile grew wide as he tightened his grip around Zayn’s waist “I love you, too” before he could kiss Zayn again the two were interrupted with an excited squeal come from down the hall of their warm mansion.

“Baba, Daddy!!!” Taylor their young three year old son came running in with his baby brother chasing after him yet falling every few steps along with their grandmother tripping after them. “Taylor your brother-ugh.” She leaned down picking up the now screaming baby.

The two laughed in a unison as they watched the scene unfold before them. “Taylor” Liam cackled kneeling as the toddler who was in his Spiderman pjs ran into his arms.

Zayn shook his head in disapproval but that didn’t stop him from laughing hysterically “I don’t get you two. I could be at home spending new years with my husband and my two baby girls but you boy’s call me up and ask me to put your kids asleep so you two can do gods no what for New Years. Why do I even give in to you two?” Trisha grumbled bouncing their crying 1 year old on her hip.

“Cause you love me.” Zayn giggled with a big cute grin which Trisha only rolled her eyes at “You are almost 25 honey, that’s not going to work.”

Her son huffed yet kept his grin “It’s true mum and you love our boy’s” he added “You’re favorite grandchildren.”

Trisha glanced at Grey melting under his adorable dazed gaze with drool coming from his mouth. “Ugh, you’re right.”

“Nana” Grey gurgled pushing his little fingers up Trisha’s nose. “Grey, you silly.” She chuckled pulling his hand from her face.

“Bring him over.” Zayn gestured her over to them.

His mother walked over bouncing the now happy child before settling him into Zayn’s arms.

“Baba.” The baby hummed sweetly “Baba,baba,baba!” he chanted loudly as Zayn made silly faces at him.

Zayn and Liam were great fathers. They truly were though they toured and traveled a lot. When they were with the boys together they were such a happy family. Zayn couldn’t ask for better. Bear nor Freddie could relate…if they were even real. This was their family and this was another reason Zayn could not give up.

“Happy New Year’s”


	2. Stop and Stare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah” Liam nodded slowly. A little too slowly in Zayn’s eyes. It was like a movie in one of those moments that went in slow motion. It gave him time to study every part of the other boy. His eyes flittered down to his neck where a visible heart shaped birthmark was stained.
> 
> Apparently Zayn may had been staring to long because when Liam spoke up he sounded a bit awkward “What?” he followed his eyes to his neck “My birthmark?”
> 
> The raven haired boy went to open his mouth yet he became too shy to answer. He turned his head and let his eyes fall to his food in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okeeey here it is, first chapter. Some warning...I do mention alot of religon stuff so be prepared for that. I don't mean to offend anyone that is just my story. I apologize. I know Yaser is not like that and I love him but this is just a fic soooooooo ye. Feel free to give me advice. I want to make my fic better so go ahead. Thanl you all so much for reading. <3

**Chapter 1: Bradford, England August 25th, 2008**

 

It was quite a hot summer day, hot for England Zayn had thought. Then again why did it matter? Summer was summer, hot days didn't really have an effect on the young boy really. It gave him a nice excuse to leave his hot noisy packed house. Usually he'd go to McDonald’s or some place to eat and sit around alone or sometimes with friends depending on whether or not he was grounded. Already 15 and he was known as the "Bradford Badboy." Honestly he was just curious, he hated being shy so the one way he tried to overcome that was by being someone he wasn't. Inside though he had many questions about himself and well having to hide the true him it was a struggle to find the answers to those questions. That was until he met Liam Payne. The boy who would soon change his life forever and actually help find who he was. 

The Muslim born teen sat alone at a small outside table nibbling on a few fries keeping to himself. He watched people and families walk in and out of the fast food restraunt. All of them happy and excited just to eat at such a gross unhealthy place. Then again he couldn't say much because he himself was eating at the very place. 

As he boringly scanned each person's face that walked by he happened to notice a fairly familiar face of a boy he had seen before...from somewhere but where? 

His stupid shyness made it hard for him to speak up as the boy approached closer to the door. Normally he'd at least be able to greet him but those warm brown eyes made him feel more nervous than he normally would be.

"Hello, mate"

Zayn blinked back to reality flickering his eyes up to the soft eyes he had just been day dreaming about. "Uh h-hi."

The familiar looking boy chuckled lightly at him "Recognize me?" he questioned with a big cheeky grin.

Setting his fries down Zayn sat back trying so hard to figure out where it was he had seen the boy. He hated having that feeling where he swore he had seen that something somewhere but he couldn't recall where. It was annoying. "I do but I don't, if I am to be honest." the Pakistani boy answered unsurely. "Sorry."

The boy took a seat shrugging with the same chuckle "It's alright, mate" he casually reached over snatching some fries from Zayn's meal but Zayn was too busy drooling over him to even notice. "Have you seen the newest X-Factor season?"

Suddenly it was as if a light bulb had went off over his head as realization hit him "Leeyum!" he gasped hand flying to his mouth.

Liam burst into a fit of laughter clapping in pleasure "Well it's actually Liam but I like Leeyum." The boy teased.

Zayn couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment. Sometimes he wondered why he even acted the way he did towards people he found attractive…Not that he thought Liam attractive…….Okay you know what he had to admit, Liam was attractive but that must’ve been because he was like famous. Zayn was not gay no no no. He wasn’t. He dated a girl in his high school well he still was in high school but they dated. They lasted for a solid week and he kissed her like twice yet she was the one who kissed him. If he was to be honest it just became awkward and he couldn’t go on with it. So he broke up with her. His first girlfriend and perhaps his last. He just didn’t find girls attractive. He never understood why, maybe puberty but like wasn’t he supposed to be girl crazy during puberty?

The other boy’s grin faded into a frown “So why are you here alone?” he asked out of curiosity.

“Well I-“Zayn paused looking down seeing that Liam had taken his full bag of fries. Gaining confidence he swiped them back as he went on “Why are you in my town?” he slyly fired back smirking smugly internally.

Liam let out a breathless laugh “Oh I see. I asked first” he crossed his arms flashing a look.

Defeated Zayn sat back giving up when usually he’d continue to fire back but for some odd reason he could not “It was too hot at my house so I thought I’d take a walk and such”

“Ah” Liam nodded slowly. A little too slowly in Zayn’s eyes. It was like a movie in one of those moments that went in slow motion. It gave him time to study every part of the other boy. His eyes flittered down to his neck where a visible heart shaped birthmark was stained.

Apparently Zayn may had been staring to long because when Liam spoke up he sounded a bit awkward “What?” he followed his eyes to his neck “My birthmark?”

The raven haired boy went to open his mouth yet he became too shy to answer. He turned his head and let his eyes fall to his food in front of him.

“It’s okay. I know it’s weird. I don’t like it.” Liam sighed in a sad tone “I look like a freak with it.”

That for some reason made Zayn snap his head up to him “No, that’s not true. You look unique and-“he cut himself off blushing as before. What the hell was wrong with him? “Just don’t say that about yourself.”

Liam licked his lips dropping his eyes to his folded hands on the table. He himself was feeling strange around the Pakistani boy. Silence was no help but it somehow found its way between them but not for long.

“Sorry it’s just. It’s part of you, you should be happy with who you are. Who cares what anyone says, you know?” Zayn couldn’t believe what he said. Never in his life had he talked to someone like that except for his younger sisters when they were being bullied and such.

The young former X-Factor contestant rose his head and flashed a thankful smile “Uh thanks. No one has really said those things to me…aside from my mum.”  He lightly chuckled.

Zayn found that hard to believe. Liam seemed like the popular type. His looks were so cool and he had such an amazing voice and let’s not forget to mention HE WAS ON X-FACTOR AND MADE IT TO THE JUDGE’S HOUSE AT JUST 14! How did this boy get bullied?!

“But you-how can anyone not-“

Liam cleared his throat and ducked his head closer to Zayn’s. His face was so close to his own he could feel the other boy’s warm breath fan upon his face “I was bullied a lot before X-Factor. Everyone in my school bullied me. I got beat up and my sisters would have to stand up for me. I rather not talk about it.”

The Pakistani boy almost felt like crying for him and not just because he felt bad but because he could relate to the boy a lot. “I uh I used to get bullied a lot as well. I still do. I’m Muslim and so I get called a lot of racist things. I’m pretty shy also but ever since I pretended to be someone else people backed off but I just don’t feel right, like this isn’t me.”

Taken by surprise Liam leaned back with eyebrows raised “I’m sorry. That’s just terrible. All because of your religion and your race doesn’t mean you should be treated that way.”

“I know but they don’t care.” Zayn sighed feeling so stupid with himself. Why did he have to go and get all personal with a guy he barely knew?

“That shouldn’t give them the right though.” Liam remarked in which he was just given a shrug.

The silence again arose between them but this time it was shorter. Zayn was quick to change the deep subject into a lighter one.

“You never answered my question.” Zayn smirked.

Liam lifted his finger and pointed at him with a sneer “You got me, mate.” He chuckled going on “I’m visiting my aunt and cousin for a couple of days. I got bored at their house so I decided to come here for a meal.”

Zayn didn’t understand why but he reddened at the last part of his sentence. _“I decided to come here for a meal.”_ Jesus why was he thinking in such a perverted way?

Putting that aside the two talked about their lives for about an hour or so till Zayn felt it was late and he should start home before it got too dark. They said their goodbyes and honestly Zayn dreaded the little time left they shared before they went their separate ways. They didn’t even exchange phone numbers which made Zayn even more upset. Why did it matter anyways? They’d never be anything, not that Zayn was thinking about getting with him buuuuut

“Where were you?” Trisha, his mother asked in a furious tone.

Zayn had explained to her about his time at McDonald’s and him meeting Liam and all that. She was shocked someone so famous (in England) would come to their little town. Zayn never discussed the strange feelings and thoughts he felt around the boy to his mother though. Such things would have her worried and she’d end up telling his father who’d then get on his case about having feelings for the same sex. It wouldn’t be such a big deal but his family was devout Muslims. Zayn knew the Quran word for word, end to the beginning. Vice versa. He knew how much of a sin it was to like another man but he couldn’t control his feelings at all.

                                                                                                                                     ~

As time went on and Zayn grew within the next year Liam never left his thoughts. Everyday his face was there no matter what. He dreamed of meeting him again and becoming his best friend. Those innocent dreams progressed into explicit scenes. He soon dreamed of kissing the boy and doing other things which caused him to awake in a heat which he of coarse had to deal with, with the thought of the same boy he dreamed about.

Boys he met who were buffer than him and attractive in his eyes stood out to him. The more time that passed had him more interested and attracted to those very boys in his school. Now full of curiosity Zayn’s thoughts became more dangerous. He had been caught many times checking out the other boys in the locker rooms of his town’s gym. People began talking about him and in a town that small rumors spreaded like a fire. Before he knew it his parents began asking him about the things that was said about him. To the people it was the reason to as why Zayn never had a girlfriend or flirted with girls. His father may had bypassed it but after snooping in Zayn’s secret drawings his worry only grew.

“Zayn.” Yaser called from the kitchen interrupting the boy who had been watching T.V in the other room.

With a long exaggerated huff the teen stood up from the couch and stomped into the kitchen expecting to see his father at the sink ready to lecture him into cleaning the dishes yet to his horror his father sat at the small table with his drawings under his arms looking very upset.

“Sit down” his father firmly ordered.

In an instance Zayn took a seat across from his father thinking of some believable explanation but acting and lying was his worst skills. There was no point in lying to his dad.

Yaser picked up a well-drawn human drawing of two boys naked in bed together. One of the boys looking exactly like his son.  “What is this?”

Now was definitely not the time to even act stupid, Zayn knew better. “Uh-a drawing” he shivered out.

His father scoffed shaking his head as he pulled out another drawing from under his arm that was of a boy in a button up shirt, his birthmark distinguishing him well. A heart was drawn along him with his name written in cursive at the bottom of the page. _“Liam Payne”_

“There is more of these DRAWINGS” Yaser slammed the pictures in front of his frightened son. “You have a gift to draw but don’t you dare use it in this manner.” He snapped bitterly. “I want to know why.”

Zayn’s heart beat sped up as his father’s anger became too much for him to handle. God, what was he supposed to say?

“I want the truth Zain Javaad Malik!” Yaser rose his voice and balled his fist “Is the rumor true? Is it true you have become a fag?!”

 _“A FAG?!”_ The word echoed in Zayn’s mind making him feel sick to his stomach. No he wasn’t gay, he refused to believe that. He was curious, is all. Curious….

“N-No” The poor boy stammered out, the feeling to cry was taking over him.

“Allah hates liars Zayn!” The father growled “TELL ME ZAYN! WHAT ARE THESE!!”

The urge took over him officially, his father’s shouting pushed him over the edge. Tears spilled from his eyes and he let out a whimper.

“D-Drawings.” He repeated in shaky voice. He was like a scared little puppy dealing with a big dog.

“DRAWINGS? DRAWINGS OF OTHER BOYS TOUCHING YOU?! DRAWINGS OF YOU SLEEPING WITH THEM?!” Yaser stood up over him glaring his son down with such an ashamed look “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

“I-I-I-“ The teen let out a loud sob and slammed his head into the table so fucking confused with himself. He didn’t get it. Why? Why any of this? Just WHY?!

Surprisingly Yaser immediately calmed himself “You are living in sin Zayn. You go down that road I cannot help you. Gays go to hell and that is where you will go if you continue practicing this unhealthy lifestyle.” He took the pictures and walked right to the trash and dumped them inside. “Think about it Zayn. Pray to Allah and think.” He walked back over to his crying son and put a comforting hand upon his shoulder “I love you, Zayn but this is wrong. That is why I’m on your case…I care about you okay. I don’t want that for you.”

Zayn shrugged off his father’s hand and sprinted to his room where he collapsed onto his bed and cried for the night. He could have simply just went with it and been honest but for some reason he couldn’t. It affected him far too much. However, late that night Zayn couldn’t help but retrieve the picture he drew of Liam from the trash can. He kept it under his pillow so hopefully his father wouldn’t find it again.

Weeks after that Zayn took his father’s advice and tried praying as well as reading the Quran every day but the feeling he had only grown worse. Sixteen and he was as horny for boys as he was supposed to be for girls. What the hell was wrong with him?

By the end of the year he met a quiet boy who reminded him as himself. His name was James Wells and he was actually quite good looking. The two developed a secret relationship behind closed doors. Despite all those who were suspicious of the two they still continued their little thing.

It wasn’t long for them to get sought out though. By the next year when Zayn was set to audition for X-Factor in a few months the secret couple had been caught at night performing some inappropriate acts on eachother in the town park.

His father found out within just a week and before he knew it his father went full out on him threatening to cancel his audition for the show and disowning him. So being so young and scared Zayn broke up with his secret boyfriend and moved on…Yet perhaps his troubles were far from over.


End file.
